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Barrack-Room Ballads
By
Rudyard Kipling
Contents
Troopin' =
'The Men that fought =
at
Minden'
To T. A. =
I
have made for you a song, =
And
it may be right or wrong, But only yo=
u can
tell me if it's true; =
I
have tried for to explain =
Both
your pleasure and your pain, And, Thomas=
, here's
my best respects to you!
O there'll surely come a day =
When
they'll give you all your pay, And treat y=
ou as
a Christian ought to do; =
So,
until that day comes round, =
Heaven
keep you safe and sound, And, Thomas,
here's my best respects to you!
=
R. K.
=
"What are the bugles blowin' for?" said Files-on-Parade. <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> "To turn you out, =
to
turn you out", the Colour-Sergeant said. "What makes you lo=
ok so
white, so white?" said Files-on-Parade. "I'm dreadin' what=
I've
got to watch", the Colour-Sergeant said. For
they're hangin' Danny Deever, you can hear the Dead March play, The
regiment's in 'ollow square--they're hangin' him to-day; They've
taken of his buttons off an' cut his stripes away, An'
they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
"What makes the rear-rank breathe so 'ard?" said
Files-on-Parade. "It's bitter cold,=
it's
bitter cold", the Colour-Sergeant said. "What makes that
front-rank man fall down?" said Files-on-Parade. "A touch o' sun, a=
touch
o' sun", the Colour-Sergeant said. They
are hangin' Danny Deever, they are marchin' of 'im round, They
'ave 'alted Danny Deever by 'is coffin on the ground; An'
'e'll swing in 'arf a minute for a sneakin' shootin' hound-- O
they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'!
"'Is cot was right-'and cot to mine", said Files-on-Parade=
. "'E's sleepin' out=
an'
far to-night", the Colour-Sergeant said. "I've drunk 'is be=
er a
score o' times", said Files-on-Parade. "'E's drinkin' bit=
ter
beer alone", the Colour-Sergeant said. They
are hangin' Danny Deever, you must mark 'im to 'is place, For
'e shot a comrade sleepin'--you must look 'im in the face; Nine 'undred of 'is county an' the
regiment's disgrace, While
they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
"What's that so black agin' the sun?" said Files-on-Parade=
. "It's Danny fighti=
n'
'ard for life", the Colour-Sergeant said. "What's that that
whimpers over'ead?" said Files-on-Parade. "It's Danny's soul
that's passin' now", the Colour-Sergeant said. For
they're done with Danny Deever, you can 'ear the quickstep play, The
regiment's in column, an' they're marchin' us away; Ho!
the young recruits are shakin', an' they'll want their beer to-day, After
hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer, The publican 'e up an' =
sez,
"We serve no red-coats here." The girls be'ind the ba=
r they
laughed an' giggled fit to die, I outs into the street =
again
an' to myself sez I: O
it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away"; But
it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play, The
band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play, O
it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.
I went into a theatre as sober as could be, They gave a drunk civil=
ian
room, but 'adn't none for me; They sent me to the gal=
lery
or round the music-'alls, But when it comes to
fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls! For
it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside"; But
it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> The
troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide, O
it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.
Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep Is cheaper than them
uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap; An' hustlin' drunken so=
ldiers
when they're goin' large a bit Is five times better bu=
siness
than paradin' in full kit. Then
it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too, But single men in barri=
cks,
most remarkable like you; An' if sometimes our co=
nduck
isn't all your fancy paints, Why, single men in barr=
icks
don't grow into plaster saints; While
it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind", But
it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the
wind, There's
trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind, O
it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the
wind.
You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
(Soudan Expeditionary Force)
=
We've fought with many men a=
crost
the seas, An' some of=
'em
was brave an' some was not: The Paythan an' the Zul=
u an'
Burmese; But the Fuz=
zy was
the finest o' the lot. We never got a ha'porth=
's
change of 'im: 'E squatted=
in
the scrub an' 'ocked our 'orses, 'E cut our sentries up =
at
Suakim, An'
'e played the cat an' banjo with our forces. So
'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in the Soudan; You're
a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man; We
gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed We'll
come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.
We took our chanst among the Khyber 'ills, The Boers k=
nocked
us silly at a mile, The Burman give us Irriwaddy
chills, An'
a Zulu impi dished us up in style: But all we ever got fro=
m such
as they Was
pop to what the Fuzzy made us swaller; We 'eld our bloomin' ow=
n, the
papers say, But man for=
man
the Fuzzy knocked us 'oller. Then
'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an' the missis and the kid; Our
orders was to break you, an' of course we went an' did. We
sloshed you with Martinis, an' it wasn't 'ardly fair; But
for all the odds agin' you, Fuzzy-Wuz, you broke the square.
'E 'asn't got no papers of 'is own, 'E 'asn't g=
ot no
medals nor rewards, So
we must certify the skill 'e's shown In usin' of=
'is
long two-'anded swords: When 'e's 'oppin' in an=
' out
among the bush With 'is
coffin-'eaded shield an' shovel-spear, An 'appy day with Fuzzy=
on
the rush Will last an
'ealthy Tommy for a year. So
'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an' your friends which are no more, If we
'adn't lost some messmates we would 'elp you to deplore; But
give an' take's the gospel, an' we'll call the bargain fair, For
if you 'ave lost more than us, you crumpled up the square!
'E rushes at the smoke when we let drive, An', before=
we
know, 'e's 'ackin' at our 'ead; 'E's all 'ot sand an' g=
inger
when alive, An' 'e's
generally shammin' when 'e's dead. 'E's a daisy, 'e's a du=
cky,
'e's a lamb! 'E's a
injia-rubber idiot on the spree, 'E's the on'y thing that
doesn't give a damn For a Regim=
ent o'
British Infantree! So
'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in the Soudan; You're
a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man; An'
'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, with your 'ayrick 'ead of 'air-- You
big black boundin' beggar--for you broke a British square!
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, Why don't you march wit=
h my
true love?" "We're fresh from =
off
the ship an' 'e's maybe give the slip, An' you'd best go look =
for a
new love." New love! True love! Best
go look for a new love, The
dead they cannot rise, an' you'd better dry your eyes, An'
you'd best go look for a new love.
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, What did you see o' my =
true
love?" "=
;I
seed 'im serve the Queen in a suit o' rifle-green, An' you'd best go look =
for a
new love."
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, Did ye see no more o' m=
y true
love?" "=
;I
seed 'im runnin' by when the shots begun to fly-- But you'd best go look =
for a
new love."
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, Did aught take 'arm to =
my
true love?" "I couldn't see the
fight, for the smoke it lay so white-- An' you'd best go look =
for a
new love."
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, I'll up an' tend to my =
true
love!" "=
;'E's
lying on the dead with a bullet through 'is 'ead, An' you'd best go look =
for a
new love."
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, I'll down an' die with =
my
true love!" "The pit we dug'll=
'ide
'im an' the twenty men beside 'im-- An' you'd best go look =
for a
new love."
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, Do you bring no sign fr=
om my
true love?" "I bring a lock of=
'air
that 'e allus used to wear, An' you'd best go look =
for a
new love."
"Soldier, soldier come from the wars, O then I know it's true=
I've
lost my true love!" "An' I tell you tr=
uth
again--when you've lost the feel o' pain You'd best take me for =
your
true love." True
love! New love! Best
take 'im for a new love, The
dead they cannot rise, an' you'd better dry your eyes, An'
you'd best take 'im for your true love.
=
Screw-Guns
Smokin' my pipe on the mountings, sniffin' the mornin' cool, I walks in my old brown
gaiters along o' my old brown mule, With seventy gunners be=
'ind
me, an' never a beggar forgets It's only the pick of t=
he
Army =
that
handles the dear little pets--'Tss! 'Tss! For
you all love the screw-guns--the screw-guns they all love you! So
when we call round with a few guns, =
o'
course you will know what to do--hoo! hoo! Jest
send in your Chief an' surrender-- =
it's
worse if you fights or you runs: You
can go where you please, you can skid up the trees, =
but
you don't get away from the guns!
They sends us along where the roads are, but mostly we goes where th=
ey
ain't: We'd climb=
up
the side of a sign-board an' trust to the stick o' the paint: We've chivied the Naga =
an'
Looshai, we've give the Afreedeeman fits, For we fancies ourselve=
s at
two thousand, =
we
guns that are built in two bits--'Tss! 'Tss! For
you all love the screw-guns...
If a man doesn't work, why, we drills 'im an' teaches 'im 'ow to beh=
ave;
If a beggar can't
march, why, we kills 'im an' rattles 'im into 'is grave. You've got to stand up =
to our
business an' spring without snatchin' or fuss. D'you say that you swea=
t with
the field-guns? =
By
God, you must lather with us--'Tss! 'Tss! For
you all love the screw-guns...
The eagles is screamin' around us, the river's a-moanin' below, We're clear o' the pine=
an'
the oak-scrub, =
we're
out on the rocks an' the snow, An' the wind is as thin=
as a
whip-lash what carries away to the plains The rattle an' stamp o'=
the
lead-mules-- =
the
jinglety-jink o' the chains--'Tss! 'Tss! For
you all love the screw-guns...
There's a wheel on the Horns o' the Mornin', =
an'
a wheel on the edge o' the Pit, An' a drop into nothin'
beneath you as straight as a beggar can spit: With the sweat runnin' =
out o'
your shirt-sleeves, =
an'
the sun off the snow in your face, An' 'arf o' the men on =
the
drag-ropes =
to
hold the old gun in 'er place--'Tss! 'Tss! For
you all love the screw-guns...
Smokin' my pipe on the mountings, sniffin' the mornin' cool, I climbs in my old brown
gaiters along o' my old brown mule. The monkey can say what=
our
road was-- =
the
wild-goat 'e knows where we passed. Stand easy, you long-ea=
red
old darlin's! =
Out
drag-ropes! With shrapnel!
I've a head like a concertina:
I've a tongue like a button-stick: I've a mouth like an old
potato, and I'm more than a little sick, But I've had my fun o' =
the
Corp'ral's Guard: I've made t=
he
cinders fly, And =
I'm
here in the Clink for a thundering drink =
and
blacking the Corporal's eye. With
a second-hand overcoat under my head, And a
beautiful view of the yard, O it's pack=
-drill
for me and a fortnight's C.B. For
"drunk and resisting the Guard!" Mad
drunk and resisting the Guard-- 'Strewth,
but I socked it them hard! So it's
pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B. For
"drunk and resisting the Guard."
I started o' canteen porter, I finished o' canteen beer, But a dose o' gin that =
a mate
slipped in, it was that that brought me here. 'Twas that and an extry
double Guard that rubbed my nose in the dirt; But I fell away with the
Corp'ral's stock =
and
the best of the Corp'ral's shirt.
I left my cap in a public-house, my boots in the public road, And Lord knows where, a=
nd I
don't care, my belt and my tunic goed; They'll stop my pay, th=
ey'll
cut away the stripes I used to wear, But I left my mark on t=
he
Corp'ral's face, and I think he'll keep it there!
My wife she cries on the barrack-gate, my kid in the barrack-yard, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> It ain't that I mind the
Ord'ly room--it's that that cuts so hard. I'll take my oath befor=
e them
both that I will sure abstain, But as soon as I'm in w=
ith a
mate and gin, I know I'll do it again! With
a second-hand overcoat under my head, And a
beautiful view of the yard, Yes, it's
pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B. For
"drunk and resisting the Guard!" Mad
drunk and resisting the Guard-- 'Strewth,
but I socked it them hard! So it's
pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B. For
"drunk and resisting the Guard."
You may talk o' gin and beer When you're quartered s=
afe
out 'ere, An' you=
're
sent to penny-fights an' Aldershot it; But when it comes to
slaughter You wil=
l do
your work on water, An'
you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it. Now in Injia's sunny cl=
ime, Where I used to spend m=
y time
A-servin' of 'Er
Majesty the Queen, Of
all them blackfaced crew The finest man I knew <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Was our regimental bhis=
ti,
Gunga Din. =
He
was "Din! Din! Din! You limpin'=
lump
o' brick-dust, Gunga Din! =
Hi!
slippery hitherao! =
Water,
get it! Panee lao! You squidgy=
-nosed
old idol, Gunga Din."
The uniform 'e wore Was nothin' much before=
, An' rather less than 'a=
rf o'
that be'ind, For a
piece o' twisty rag An'
a goatskin water-bag Was all the field-equip=
ment
'e could find. Wh=
en the
sweatin' troop-train lay In a sidin' through the=
day, Where the 'eat would ma=
ke
your bloomin' eyebrows crawl, We shouted "Harry
By!" Till our
throats were bricky-dry, Then we wopped 'im 'cau=
se 'e
couldn't serve us all. =
It
was "Din! Din! Din! You 'eathen,
where the mischief 'ave you been? =
You
put some juldee in it =
Or
I'll marrow you this minute If you don'=
t fill
up my helmet, Gunga Din!"
'E would dot an' carry one Till the longest day was
done; An' 'e didn=
't
seem to know the use o' fear. If we charged or broke =
or
cut, You could be=
t your
bloomin' nut, 'E'=
d be
waitin' fifty paces right flank rear. With 'is mussick on 'is=
back,
'E would skip wit=
h our
attack, An' watch=
us
till the bugles made "Retire", An' for all 'is dirty '=
ide 'E was white, clear whi=
te,
inside When 'e we=
nt to
tend the wounded under fire! =
It
was "Din! Din! Din!" With the bu=
llets
kickin' dust-spots on the green. =
When
the cartridges ran out, =
You
could hear the front-files shout, "Hi!
ammunition-mules an' Gunga Din!"
I shan't forgit the night When I dropped be'ind t=
he
fight With a bull=
et
where my belt-plate should 'a' been. I was chokin' mad with
thirst, An' the m=
an
that spied me first Was
our good old grinnin', gruntin' Gunga Din. 'E lifted up my 'ead, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> An' he plugged me where=
I
bled, An' 'e guv =
me
'arf-a-pint o' water-green: It was crawlin' and it =
stunk,
But of all the dr=
inks
I've drunk, I'm
gratefullest to one from Gunga Din. =
It
was "Din! Din! Din! 'Ere's a be=
ggar
with a bullet through 'is spleen; =
'E's
chawin' up the ground, =
An'
'e's kickin' all around: For Gawd's =
sake
git the water, Gunga Din!"
'E carried me away To where a dooli lay, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> An' a bullet come an' d=
rilled
the beggar clean. 'E
put me safe inside, An'
just before 'e died, "I 'ope you liked =
your
drink", sez Gunga Din. So I'll meet 'im later =
on At the place where 'e is
gone-- Where it's
always double drill and no canteen; 'E'll be squattin' on t=
he
coals Givin' drin=
k to
poor damned souls, An'
I'll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din! =
Yes,
Din! Din! Din! You
Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din! =
Though
I've belted you and flayed you, =
By
the livin' Gawd that made you, You're a be=
tter
man than I am, Gunga Din!
(Northern India Transport Train)
Wot makes the soldier's 'eart to penk, wot makes 'im to perspire? It isn't standin' up to
charge nor lyin' down to fire; But it's everlastin' wa=
itin'
on a everlastin' road For the commissariat ca=
mel
an' 'is commissariat load. O the
oont, O the oont, O the commissariat oont! =
With
'is silly neck a-bobbin' like a basket full o' snakes; We
packs 'im like an idol, an' you ought to 'ear 'im grunt, =
An'
when we gets 'im loaded up 'is blessed girth-rope breaks.
Wot makes the rear-guard swear so 'ard when night is drorin' in,
The 'orse 'e knows above a bit, the bullock's but a fool, The elephant's a gentle=
man,
the battery-mule's a mule; But the commissariat
cam-u-el, when all is said an' done, 'E's a devil an' a ostr=
ich
an' a orphan-child in one. O the
oont, O the oont, O the Gawd-forsaken oont! The lumpy-'=
umpy
'ummin'-bird a-singin' where 'e lies, 'E's
blocked the whole division from the rear-guard to the front, =
An'
when we get him up again--the beggar goes an' dies!
'E'll gall an' chafe an' lame an' fight--'e smells most awful vile; =
'E'll lose 'isself for =
ever
if you let 'im stray a mile; 'E's game to graze the =
'ole
day long an' 'owl the 'ole night through, An' when 'e comes to gr=
easy
ground 'e splits 'isself in two. O the
oont, O the oont, O the floppin', droppin' oont! =
When
'is long legs give from under an' 'is meltin' eye is dim, The
tribes is up be'ind us, and the tribes is out in front-- =
It
ain't no jam for Tommy, but it's kites an' crows for 'im.
So when the cruel march is done, an' when the roads is blind, An' when we sees the ca=
mp in
front an' 'ears the shots be'ind, Ho! then we strips 'is =
saddle
off, and all 'is woes is past: 'E thinks on us that us=
ed 'im
so, and gets revenge at last. O the
oont, O the oont, O the floatin', bloatin' oont! =
The
late lamented camel in the water-cut 'e lies; We
keeps a mile be'ind 'im an' we keeps a mile in front, =
But
'e gets into the drinkin'-casks, and then o' course we dies.
If you've ever stole a pheasant-egg be'ind the keeper's back, If you've ever sn=
igged
the washin' from the line, If you've ever crammed a
gander in your bloomin' 'aversack, You will understa=
nd
this little song o' mine. But the service rules a=
re
'ard, an' from such we are debarred, For the same with
English morals does not suit. (Cornet: Toot! toot!) W'y, they call a man a =
robber
if 'e stuffs 'is marchin' clobber With the-- (Chorus) Loo! loo! Lulu! lulu! Loo! loo! Loot! loot! loot! =
Ow
the loot! =
Bloomin'
loot! =
That's
the thing to make the boys git up an' shoot! =
It's
the same with dogs an' men, =
If
you'd make 'em come again =
Clap
'em forward with a Loo! loo! Lulu! Loot! (ff) Whoopee! Tear 'im, puppy! Loo! loo! Lulu! Loot! loot! loot!
If you've knocked a nigger edgeways when 'e's thrustin' for your lif=
e, You must leave 'i=
m very
careful where 'e fell; An' may thank your star=
s an'
gaiters if you didn't feel 'is knife That you ain't to=
ld off
to bury 'im as well. Then the sweatin' Tommi=
es
wonder as they spade the beggars under Why lootin' shoul=
d be
entered as a crime; So
if my song you'll 'ear, I will learn you plain an' clear 'Ow to pay yourse=
lf for
fightin' overtime. (Chorus) With the loot,...
Now remember when you're 'acking round a gilded Burma god That 'is eyes is =
very
often precious stones; An' if you treat a nigg=
er to
a dose o' cleanin'-rod =
'E's like to show you everyth=
ing 'e
owns. When 'e won=
't
prodooce no more, pour some water on the floor Where you 'ear it
answer 'ollow to the boot (Cornet: Toot! toot!)-- When the ground begins =
to
sink, shove your baynick down the chink, An' you're sure to
touch the-- (Chorus) Loo! loo! Lulu! Loot! loot! loot! =
Ow
the loot!...
When from 'ouse to 'ouse you're 'unting, you must always work in pai=
rs--
It 'alves t=
he
gain, but safer you will find-- For a single man gets b=
ottled
on them twisty-wisty stairs, An' a woman comes=
and
clobs 'im from be'ind. When you've turned 'em =
inside
out, an' it seems beyond a doubt As if there weren=
't
enough to dust a flute (Cornet: Toot! toot!)-- Before you sling your '=
ook,
at the 'ousetops take a look, For it's undernea=
th the
tiles they 'ide the loot. (Chorus) Ow the loot!...
You can mostly square a Sergint an' a Quartermaster too, If you only take =
the
proper way to go; I
could never keep my pickin's, but I've learned you all I knew-- An' don't you nev=
er say
I told you so. An=
' now
I'll bid good-bye, for I'm gettin' rather dry, An' I see another
tunin' up to toot (Cornet: Toot! toot!)-- So 'ere's good-luck to =
those
that wears the Widow's clo'es, An' the Devil sen=
d 'em
all they want o' loot! (Chorus) Yes, the loot, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> =
Bloomin'
loot! =
In
the tunic an' the mess-tin an' the boot! =
It's
the same with dogs an' men, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> =
If
you'd make 'em come again (fff)=
Whoop 'em forward with a Loo! loo!=
Lulu! Loot! loot! loot! =
Heeya! Sick 'im, puppy! Loo! loo! Lulu! Loot! loot! loot!
This 'appened in a battle to a batt'ry of the corps Which is first among the
women an' amazin' first in war; An' what the bloomin' b=
attle
was I don't remember now, But Two's off-lead 'e
answered to the name o' Snarleyow. Down
in the Infantry, nobody cares; Down
in the Cavalry, Colonel 'e swears; But
down in the lead with the wheel at the flog Turns
the bold Bombardier to a little whipped dog!
They was movin' into action, they was needed very sore, To learn a little schoo=
lin'
to a native army corps, They 'ad nipped against=
an
uphill, they was tuckin' down the brow, When a tricky, trundlin'
roundshot give the knock to Snarleyow.
They cut 'im loose an' left 'im--'e was almost tore in two-- But he tried to follow =
after
as a well-trained 'orse should do; 'E went an' fouled the
limber, an' the Driver's Brother squeals: "Pull up, pull up =
for
Snarleyow--'is head's between 'is 'eels!"
The Driver 'umped 'is shoulder, for the wheels was goin' round, An' there ain't no
"Stop, conductor!" when a batt'ry's changin' ground; Sez 'e: "I broke the beggar in, an' v=
ery
sad I feels, But I
couldn't pull up, not for you--your 'ead between your 'eels!"
'E 'adn't 'ardly spoke the word, before a droppin' shell A little right the batt=
'ry
an' between the sections fell; An' when the smoke 'ad
cleared away, before the limber wheels, There lay the Driver's
Brother with 'is 'ead between 'is 'eels.
Then sez the Driver's Brother, an' 'is words was very plain, "For Gawd's own sa=
ke get
over me, an' put me out o' pain." They saw 'is wounds was
mortial, an' they judged that it was best, So they took an' drove =
the
limber straight across 'is back an' chest.
The Driver 'e give nothin' 'cept a little coughin' grunt, But 'e swung 'is 'orses
'andsome when it came to "Action Front!" An' if one wheel was ju=
icy,
you may lay your Monday head 'Twas juicier for the n=
iggers
when the case begun to spread.
The moril of this story, it is plainly to be seen: You 'avn't got no famil=
ies
when servin' of the Queen-- You 'avn't got no broth=
ers,
fathers, sisters, wives, or sons-- If you want to win your
battles take an' work your bloomin' guns! Down
in the Infantry, nobody cares; Down
in the Cavalry, Colonel 'e swears; But
down in the lead with the wheel at the flog Turns
the bold Bombardier to a little whipped dog!
<=
span
style=3D'font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-fa=
reast-font-family:
Calibri'>The Widow at Windsor<=
span
style=3D'font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-fa=
reast-font-family:
Calibri'>
'Ave you 'eard o' the Widow at Windsor With a hairy gold=
crown
on 'er 'ead? She =
'as
ships on the foam--she 'as millions at 'ome, An' she pays us p=
oor
beggars in red. (Ow,
poor beggars in red!) There's 'er nick on the
cavalry 'orses, There's 'er mark =
on the
medical stores-- =
An'
'er troopers you'll find with a fair wind be'ind That takes us to =
various
wars. (Poor
beggars!--barbarious wars!) =
Then
'ere's to the Widow at Windsor, =
An'
'ere's to the stores an' the guns, =
The
men an' the 'orses what makes up the forces =
O'
Missis Victorier's sons. =
(Poor
beggars! Victorier's sons!)
Walk wide o' the Widow at Windsor, For 'alf o' Creat=
ion
she owns: We 'ave
bought 'er the same with the sword an' the flame, An' we've salted =
it
down with our bones. (Poor
beggars!--it's blue with our bones!) Hands off o' the sons o=
' the
Widow, Hand=
s off
o' the goods in 'er shop, For the Kings must come=
down
an' the Emperors frown When the Widow at
Windsor says "Stop"! (Poor
beggars!--we're sent to say "Stop"!) =
Then
'ere's to the Lodge o' the Widow, =
From
the Pole to the Tropics it runs-- =
To
the Lodge that we tile with the rank an' the file, =
An'
open in form with the guns. =
(Poor
beggars!--it's always they guns!)
We 'ave 'eard o' the Widow at Windsor, It's safest to le=
t 'er
alone: For 'er se=
ntries
we stand by the sea an' the land Wherever the bugl=
es are
blown. (Poor
beggars!--an' don't we get blown!) Take 'old o' the Wings =
o' the
Mornin', An=
' flop
round the earth till you're dead; But you won't get away =
from
the tune that they play To the bloomin' o=
ld rag
over'ead. (Poor
beggars!--it's 'ot over'ead!) =
Then
'ere's to the sons o' the Widow, =
Wherever,
'owever they roam. 'Ere's all they desire,=
an'
if they require =
A
speedy return to their 'ome. =
(Poor
beggars!--they'll never see 'ome!)
There was a row in Silver Street that's near to Dublin Quay, Between an Irish regime=
nt an'
English cavalree; It
started at Revelly an' it lasted on till dark: The first man dropped at
Harrison's, the last forninst the Park. For
it was:--"Belts, belts, belts, an' that's one for you!" An'
it was "Belts, belts, belts, an' that's done for you!" O
buckle an' tongue Was
the song that we sung From
Harrison's down to the Park!
There was a row in Silver Street--the regiments was out, They called us "De=
lhi
Rebels", an' we answered "Threes about!" That drew them like a
hornet's nest--we met them good an' large, The English at the doub=
le an'
the Irish at the charge. Then
it was:--"Belts..."
There was a row in Silver Street--an' I was in it too; We passed the time o' d=
ay,
an' then the belts went whirraru! I misremember what occu=
rred,
but subsequint the storm A Freeman's Journal
Supplemint was all my uniform. O it
was:--"Belts...
There was a row in Silver Street--they sent the Polis there, The English were too dr=
unk to
know, the Irish didn't care; But when they grew
impertinint we simultaneous rose, Till half o' them was L=
iffey
mud an' half was tatthered clo'es. For
it was:--"Belts...
There was a row in Silver Street--it might ha' raged till now, But some one drew his
side-arm clear, an' nobody knew how; 'Twas Hogan took the po=
int
an' dropped; we saw the red blood run: An' so we all was murde=
rers
that started out in fun. While
it was:--"Belts...
There was a row in Silver Street--but that put down the shine, Wid each man whisperin'=
to
his next: "'Twas never w=
ork o'
mine!" We we=
nt
away like beaten dogs, an' down the street we bore him, The poor dumb corpse th=
at
couldn't tell the bhoys were sorry for him. When
it was:--"Belts...
There was a row in Silver Street--it isn't over yet, For half of us are under
guard wid punishments to get; 'Tis all a merricle to =
me as
in the Clink I lie: There was a row in Silv=
er
Street--begod, I wonder why! But
it was:--"Belts, belts, belts, an' that's one for you!" An'
it was "Belts, belts, belts, an' that's done for you!" O
buckle an' tongue Was
the song that we sung From
Harrison's down to the Park!
When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East 'E acts like a babe an'=
'e
drinks like a beast, An' 'e wonders because =
'e is
frequent deceased Ere '=
e's
fit for to serve as a soldier. =
Serve,
serve, serve as a soldier, =
Serve,
serve, serve as a soldier, Serve, serv=
e,
serve as a soldier, =
So-oldier
of the Queen!
Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day, You shut up your rag-bo=
x an'
'ark to my lay, A=
n'
I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may: A sol=
dier
what's fit for a soldier. =
Fit,
fit, fit for a soldier...
First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts, For they sell you Fixed
Bay'nets that rots out your guts-- Ay, drink that 'ud eat =
the
live steel from your butts-- An' i=
t's
bad for the young British soldier. =
Bad,
bad, bad for the soldier...
When the cholera comes--as it will past a doubt-- Keep out of the wet and=
don't
go on the shout, =
For
the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out, An' it
crumples the young British soldier. =
Crum-,
crum-, crumples the soldier...
But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead: You must wear your 'elm=
et for
all that is said: If 'e
finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead, An' y=
ou'll
die like a fool of a soldier. =
Fool,
fool, fool of a soldier...
If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind, Don't grouse like a wom=
an nor
crack on nor blind; Be
handy and civil, and then you will find That =
it's
beer for the young British soldier. Beer,
beer, beer for the soldier...
Now, if you must marry, take care she is old-- A troop-sergeant's wido=
w's
the nicest I'm told, For beauty won't help i=
f your
rations is cold, Nor l=
ove
ain't enough for a soldier. =
'Nough,
'nough, 'nough for a soldier...
If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath To shoot when you catch
'em--you'll swing, on my oath!-- Make 'im take 'er and k=
eep
'er: that's Hell for them bot=
h, An' y=
ou're
shut o' the curse of a soldier. =
Curse,
curse, curse of a soldier...
When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck, Don't look nor take 'ee=
d at
the man that is struck, Be thankful you're livi=
n',
and trust to your luck And m=
arch
to your front like a soldier. =
Front,
front, front like a soldier...
When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch, Don't call your Martini=
a
cross-eyed old bitch; She's human as you are-=
-you
treat her as sich, An' s=
he'll
fight for the young British soldier. =
Fight,
fight, fight for the soldier...
When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine, The guns o' the enemy w=
heel
into line, Shoot =
low at
the limbers an' don't mind the shine, For n=
oise
never startles the soldier. =
Start-,
start-, startles the soldier...
If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white, Remember it's ruin to r=
un
from a fight: So =
take
open order, lie down, and sit tight, And w=
ait
for supports like a soldier. =
Wait,
wait, wait like a soldier...
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains, And the women come out =
to cut
up what remains, =
Jest
roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An' g=
o to
your Gawd like a soldier. =
Go,
go, go like a soldier, Go, go, go like a
soldier, =
Go,
go, go like a soldier, =
So-oldier
of the Queen!
By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin' eastward to the sea, There's a Burma girl
a-settin', and I know she thinks o' me; For the wind is in the
palm-trees, and the temple-bells they say: "Come you back, you
British soldier; come you back to Mandalay!" Come
you back to Mandalay, Where
the old Flotilla lay: Can't
you 'ear their paddles chunkin' from Rangoon to Mandalay? On
the road to Mandalay, Where
the flyin'-fishes play, An'
the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!
'Er petticoat was yaller an' 'er little cap was green, An' 'er name was
Supi-yaw-lat--jes' the same as Theebaw's Queen, An' I seed her first
a-smokin' of a whackin' white cheroot, An' a-wastin' Christian
kisses on an 'eathen idol's foot: Bloomin'
idol made o'mud-- Wot
they called the Great Gawd Budd-- Plucky
lot she cared for idols when I kissed 'er where she stud! On
the road to Mandalay...
When the mist was on the rice-fields an' the sun was droppin' slow, =
She'd git 'er little ba=
njo
an' she'd sing "Kulla-lo-lo!" With 'er arm upon my sh=
oulder
an' 'er cheek agin' my cheek We useter watch the ste=
amers
an' the hathis pilin' teak. Elephints
a-pilin' teak In
the sludgy, squdgy creek, Where
the silence 'ung that 'eavy you was 'arf afraid to speak! On
the road to Mandalay...
But that's all shove be'ind me--long ago an' fur away, An' there ain't no 'bus=
ses
runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay; An' I'm learnin' 'ere in
London what the ten-year soldier tells: "If you've 'eard t=
he
East a-callin', you won't never 'eed naught else." No!
you won't 'eed nothin' else But
them spicy garlic smells, An'
the sunshine an' the palm-trees an' the tinkly temple-bells; On
the road to Mandalay...
I am sick o' wastin' leather on these gritty pavin'-stones, An' the blasted Henglish
drizzle wakes the fever in my bones; Tho' I walks with fifty
'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand, An' they talks a lot o'
lovin', but wot do they understand? Beefy
face an' grubby 'and-- Law!
wot do they understand? I've
a neater, sweeter maiden in a cleaner, greener land! On
the road to Mandalay...
Ship me somewheres east of Suez, where the best is like the worst, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Where there aren't no T=
en
Commandments an' a man can raise a thirst; For the temple-bells are
callin', an' it's there that I would be-- By the old Moulmein Pag=
oda,
looking lazy at the sea; On
the road to Mandalay, Where
the old Flotilla lay, With
our sick beneath the awnings when we went to Mandalay! On
the road to Mandalay, Where
the flyin'-fishes play, An'
the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!
(Our Army in the East)
Troopin', troopin', troopin' to the sea: 'Ere's September come
again--the six-year men are free. O leave the dead be'ind=
us,
for they cannot come away To where the ship's a-c=
oalin'
up that takes us 'ome to-day. We're=
goin'
'ome, we're goin' 'ome, Our
ship is at the shore, An' y=
ou
must pack your 'aversack, For
we won't come back no more. Ho, d=
on't
you grieve for me, My
lovely Mary-Ann, For I=
'll
marry you yit on a fourp'ny bit As a
time-expired man.
The Malabar's in 'arbour with the Jumner at 'er tail, An' the time-expired's
waitin' of 'is orders for to sail. Ho! the weary waitin' w=
hen on
Khyber 'ills we lay, But the time-expired's
waitin' of 'is orders 'ome to-day.
They'll turn us out at Portsmouth wharf in cold an' wet an' rain, All wearin' Injian cott=
on
kit, but we will not complain; They'll kill us of
pneumonia--for that's their little way-- But damn the chills and
fever, men, we're goin' 'ome to-day!
Troopin', troopin', winter's round again! See the new draf's pour=
in' in
for the old campaign; Ho, you poor recruities=
, but
you've got to earn your pay-- What's the last from Lu=
nnon,
lads? We're goin' there to-da=
y.
Troopin', troopin', give another cheer-- 'Ere's to English women=
an' a
quart of English beer. The Colonel an' the reg=
iment
an' all who've got to stay, Gawd's mercy strike 'em
gentle--Whoop! we're goin' 'ome to-day. We're
goin' 'ome, we're goin' 'ome, =
Our
ship is at the shore, An'
you must pack your 'aversack, =
For
we won't come back no more. Ho,
don't you grieve for me, =
My
lovely Mary-Ann, For
I'll marry you yit on a fourp'ny bit =
As
a time-expired man.
"Where have you been this while away, Johnnie,
Johnnie?" 'L=
ong
with the rest on a picnic lay, Johnnie,
my Johnnie, aha! =
They
called us out of the barrack-yard To Gawd knows where from
Gosport Hard, And=
you
can't refuse when you get the card, And
the Widow gives the party. =
(Bugle: Ta--rara--ra-ra-rara!)
"What did you get to eat and drink, Johnnie,
Johnnie?" St=
anding
water as thick as ink, Johnnie,
my Johnnie, aha! =
A bit
o' beef that were three year stored, A bit o' mutton as toug=
h as a
board, And a fowl=
we
killed with a sergeant's sword, When
the Widow give the party.
"What did you do for knives and forks, Johnnie,
Johnnie?" We
carries 'em with us wherever we walks, Johnnie,
my Johnnie, aha! =
And
some was sliced and some was halved, And some was crimped an=
d some
was carved, And s=
ome
was gutted and some was starved, When
the Widow give the party.
"What ha' you done with half your mess, Johnnie,
Johnnie?" Th=
ey
couldn't do more and they wouldn't do less, Johnnie,
my Johnnie, aha! =
They
ate their whack and they drank their fill, And I think the rations=
has
made them ill, Fo=
r half
my comp'ny's lying still Where
the Widow give the party.
"How did you get away--away, Johnnie,
Johnnie?" On=
the
broad o' my back at the end o' the day, Johnnie,
my Johnnie, aha! I
comed away like a bleedin' toff, For I got four niggers =
to
carry me off, As =
I lay
in the bight of a canvas trough, When
the Widow give the party.
"What was the end of all the show, Johnnie,
Johnnie?" As=
k my
Colonel, for I don't know, Johnnie,
my Johnnie, aha! =
We
broke a King and we built a road-- A court-house stands wh=
ere
the reg'ment goed. And
the river's clean where the raw blood flowed When the Widow give the party. =
(Bugle: Ta--rara--ra-ra-rara!)
Kabul town's by Kabul river-- Blow the bugle, d=
raw
the sword-- There=
I
lef' my mate for ever, Wet an' drippin' =
by the
ford. Ford,
ford, ford o' Kabul river, =
Ford
o' Kabul river in the dark! There's
the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin' =
'Cross
the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town's a blasted place-- Blow the bugle, d=
raw
the sword-- 'Stre=
wth I
sha'n't forget 'is face Wet an' drippin' =
by the
ford! Ford,
ford, ford o' Kabul river, =
Ford
o' Kabul river in the dark! Keep
the crossing-stakes beside you, an' they will surely guide you =
'Cross
the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town is sun and dust-- Blow the bugle, d=
raw
the sword-- I'd h=
a'
sooner drownded fust 'Stead of 'im bes=
ide
the ford. Ford,
ford, ford o' Kabul river, =
Ford
o' Kabul river in the dark! You
can 'ear the 'orses threshin', you can 'ear the men a-splashin', =
'Cross
the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town was ours to take-- Blow the bugle, d=
raw
the sword-- I'd h=
a'
left it for 'is sake-- 'Im that left me =
by the
ford. Ford,
ford, ford o' Kabul river, =
Ford
o' Kabul river in the dark! It's
none so bloomin' dry there; ain't you never comin' nigh there, =
'Cross
the ford o' Kabul river in the dark?
Kabul town'll go to hell-- Blow the bugle, d=
raw
the sword-- 'Fore=
I see
him 'live an' well-- 'Im the best besi=
de the
ford. Ford,
ford, ford o' Kabul river, =
Ford
o' Kabul river in the dark! Gawd
'elp 'em if they blunder, for their boots'll pull 'em under, =
By
the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Turn your 'orse from Kabul town-- Blow the bugle, d=
raw
the sword-- 'Im a=
n'
'arf my troop is down, Down an' drownded=
by
the ford. Ford,
ford, ford o' Kabul river, =
Ford
o' Kabul river in the dark! There's
the river low an' fallin', but it ain't no use o' callin' =
'Cross
the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
To the legion of the lost ones, to the cohort of the damned, To my brethren in=
their
sorrow overseas, =
Sings
a gentleman of England cleanly bred, machinely crammed, And a trooper of =
the
Empress, if you please. Yea, a trooper of the f=
orces
who has run his own six horses, And faith he went=
the
pace and went it blind, And the world was more =
than
kin while he held the ready tin, But to-day the
Sergeant's something less than kind. We're
poor little lambs who've lost our way, =
Baa! Baa! Baa! We're
little black sheep who've gone astray, =
Baa--aa--aa!
Gentlemen-r=
ankers
out on the spree, Damned
from here to Eternity, God
ha' mercy on such as we, =
Baa! Yah! Bah!
Oh, it's sweet to sweat through stables, sweet to empty kitchen slop=
s, And it's sweet to=
hear
the tales the troopers tell, To dance with blowzy
housemaids at the regimental hops And thrash the ca=
d who
says you waltz too well. Yes, it makes you cock-=
a-hoop
to be "Rider" to your troop, And branded with a
blasted worsted spur, When you envy, O how ke=
enly,
one poor Tommy being cleanly Who blacks your b=
oots
and sometimes calls you "Sir".
If the home we never write to, and the oaths we never keep, And all we know m=
ost
distant and most dear, Across the snoring
barrack-room return to break our sleep, Can you blame us =
if we
soak ourselves in beer? When the drunken comrade
mutters and the great guard-lantern gutters And the horror of=
our
fall is written plain, Every secret, self-reve=
aling
on the aching white-washed ceiling, Do you wonder that we drug ourselve=
s from
pain?
We have done with Hope and Honour, we are lost to Love and Truth, We are dropping d=
own
the ladder rung by rung, And the measure of our
torment is the measure of our youth. God help us, for =
we knew
the worst too young! Our shame is clean repe=
ntance
for the crime that brought the sentence, Our pride it is t=
o know
no spur of pride, And
the Curse of Reuben holds us till an alien turf enfolds us And we die, and n=
one
can tell Them where we died. We're
poor little lambs who've lost our way, =
Baa! Baa! Baa! We're
little black sheep who've gone astray, =
Baa--aa--aa!
Gentlemen-rankers
out on the spree, Damned
from here to Eternity, God ha'
mercy on such as we, =
Baa! Yah! Bah!
We're marchin' on relief over Injia's sunny plains, A little front o'
Christmas-time an' just be'ind the Rains; Ho! get away you bulloc=
k-man,
you've 'eard the bugle blowed, There's a regiment a-co=
min'
down the Grand Trunk Road; With
its best foot first And
the road a-sliding past, An'
every bloomin' campin'-ground exactly like the last; While
the Big Drum says, With
'is "rowdy-dowdy-dow!"-- "Kiko
kissywarsti don't you hamsher argy jow?" Oh, there's them Injian
temples to admire when you see, There's the peacock rou=
nd the
corner an' the monkey up the tree, An' there's that rummy =
silver
grass a-wavin' in the wind, An' the old Grand Trunk
a-trailin' like a rifle-sling be'ind. While
it's best foot first,...
At half-past five's Revelly, an' our tents they down must come, Like a lot of button
mushrooms when you pick 'em up at 'ome. But it's over in a minu=
te,
an' at six the column starts, While the women and the
kiddies sit an' shiver in the carts. An'
it's best foot first,...
Oh, then it's open order, an' we lights our pipes an' sings, An' we talks about our
rations an' a lot of other things, An' we thinks o' friend=
s in
England, an' we wonders what they're at, An' 'ow they would admi=
re for
to hear us sling the bat. An'
it's best foot first,... It's none so bad o' Sun=
day,
when you're lyin' at your ease, To watch the kites a-wh=
eelin'
round them feather-'eaded trees, For although there ain'=
t no
women, yet there ain't no barrick-yards, So the orficers goes sh=
ootin'
an' the men they plays at cards. Till
it's best foot first,...
So 'ark an' 'eed, you rookies, which is always grumblin' sore, There's worser things t=
han
marchin' from Umballa to Cawnpore; An' if your 'eels are
blistered an' they feels to 'urt like 'ell, You drop some tallow in=
your
socks an' that will make 'em well. For
it's best foot first,...
We're marchin' on relief over Injia's coral strand, Eight 'undred fightin'
Englishmen, the Colonel, and the Band; Ho! get away you bulloc=
k-man,
you've 'eard the bugle blowed, There's a regiment a-co=
min'
down the Grand Trunk Road; With
its best foot first And
the road a-sliding past, An'
every bloomin' campin'-ground exactly like the last; While
the Big Drum says, With
'is "rowdy-dowdy-dow!"-- "Kiko
kissywarsti don't you hamsher argy jow?"
My name is O'Kelly, I've heard the Revelly From Birr to Bareilly, =
from
Leeds to Lahore, Hong-Kong and Peshawur,=
Lucknow and Etawah,
Oh, it drives me half crazy to think of the days I Went slap for the Ghazi=
, my
sword at my side, When
we rode Hell-for-leather Both squadrons together=
, That didn't care whethe=
r we
lived or we died. But
it's no use despairin', my wife must go charin' An' me commissairin' the
pay-bills to better, So
if me you be'old =
In the
wet and the cold, By
the Grand Metropold, won't you give me a letter? (Full chorus) Give 'im a letter-- =
&nb=
sp;'Can't
do no better, =
&nb=
sp;Late
Troop-Sergeant-Major an'--runs with a letter! =
&nb=
sp;Think
what 'e's been, =
&nb=
sp;Think
what 'e's seen, =
&nb=
sp;Think
of his pension an'----
=
Gawd save the Queen
<=
span
style=3D'font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-fa=
reast-font-family:
Calibri'>Second Series (1896)<=
span
style=3D'font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-fa=
reast-font-family:
Calibri'>
There's a little red-faced man, =
Which
is Bobs, Rides the
tallest 'orse 'e can- =
Our
Bobs, If it bucks=
or
kicks or rears, '=
E can
sit for twenty years With a smile round both=
'is
ears- Can't yer, Bobs?
Then 'ere's to Bobs Bahadur- =
Little
Bobs, Bobs, Bobs! 'E's
or pukka Kandaharder- =
Fightin'
Bobs, Bobs, Bobs! 'E's
the Dook of Aggy Chel; 'E's the man that done =
us
well, An' we'll f=
ollow
'im to 'ell- Won't we Bobs?
If a limber's slipped a trace, =
'Ook
on Bobs. If a mar=
ker's
lost 'is place, =
Dress
by Bobs. For 'e's=
eyes
all up 'is coat, =
An' a
bugle in 'is throat, An' you will not play t=
he
goat =
Under
Bobs.
'E's a little down on drink, =
Chaplain
Bobs; But it keep=
s us
outer Clink- =
Don't
it Bobs? So we wi=
ll not
complain Tho' 'e's
water on the brain, If
'e leads us straight again- =
Blue-light
Bobs.
If you stood 'im on 'is head Father
Bobs, You could s=
pill a
quart o' lead =
Outer
Bobs. 'E's been a=
t it
thirty years, An'
amassin souveneers In
the way o' slugs an' spears- =
Ain't
yer, Bobs?
What 'e does not Know o' war, =
Gen'ral
Bobs, You can ars=
t the
shop next door- Can't
they, Bobs? Oh, '=
e's
little, but he's wise; 'E's a terror for 'is s=
ize, An'-'e-does-not-adverti=
se- Do
yer, Bobs?
Now they've made a bloomin' Lord =
Outer
Bobs, Which was b=
ut 'is
fair reward- =
Weren't
it Bobs? So 'e'll=
wear
a coronet Where '=
is
'elmet used to set; But
we know you won't forget- =
Will
yer, Bobs?
Then 'ere's to Bobs Bahadur-- Little
Bobs, Bobs, Bobs! Pocket-Wellin'ton an' a=
rder--
Fightin'
Bobs, Bobs, Bobs! This
ain't no bloomin' ode, But you've 'elped the
soldier's load, A=
n' for
benefits bestowed, Bless
yer, Bobs!
I'm 'ere in a ticky ulster an' a broken billycock 'at, A-layin' on to the serg=
eant I
don't know a gun from a bat; My shirt's doin' duty f=
or
jacket, my sock's stickin' out o' my boots, An' I'm learnin' the da=
mned
old goose-step along o' the new recruits!
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again. Don't=
look
so 'ard, for I 'aven't no card, I'm
back to the Army again!
I done my six years' service.
'Er Majesty sez:
"Good-day-- You'll please to come w=
hen
you're rung for, an' 'ere's your 'ole back-pay; An' fourpence a day for
baccy--an' bloomin' gen'rous, too; An' now you can make yo=
ur
fortune--the same as your orf'cers do."
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again; 'Ow d=
id I
learn to do right-about turn? I'm
back to the Army again!
A man o' four-an'-twenty that 'asn't learned of a trade-- Beside "Reserve&qu=
ot;
agin' him--'e'd better be never made. I tried my luck for a
quarter, an' that was enough for me, An' I thought of 'Er
Majesty's barricks, an' I thought I'd go an' see.
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again; 'Tisn=
't my
fault if I dress when I 'alt-- I'm
back to the Army again!
The sergeant arst no questions, but 'e winked the other eye, 'E sez to me,
"'Shun!" an' I shunted, the same as in days gone by; For 'e saw the set o' my
shoulders, an' I couldn't 'elp 'oldin' straight When me an' the other r=
ookies
come under the barrick-gate.
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again; 'Oo w=
ould
ha' thought I could carry an' port? I'm
back to the Army again!
I took my bath, an' I wallered--for, Gawd, I needed it so! I smelt the smell o' the
barricks, I 'eard the bugles go. I 'eard the feet on the
gravel--the feet o' the men what drill-- An' I sez to my flutter=
in'
'eart-strings, I sez to 'em, "Peace, be still!"
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again; 'Oo s=
aid I
knew when the Jumner was due? I'm
back to the Army again!
I carried my slops to the tailor; I sez to 'im, "None o' your l=
ip! You tight 'em over the
shoulders, an' loose 'em over the 'ip, For the set o' the tuni=
c's
'orrid." An' 'e sez to m=
e,
"Strike me dead, But I thought you was u=
sed to
the business!" an' so 'e done what I said.
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again. Rathe=
r too
free with my fancies? Wot--me=
? I'm
back to the Army again!
Next week I'll 'ave 'em fitted; I'll buy me a swagger-cane; They'll let me free o' =
the
barricks to walk on the Hoe again In the name o' William
Parsons, that used to be Edward Clay, An'--any pore beggar th=
at
wants it can draw my fourpence a day!
Back to th=
e Army
again, sergeant, Back
to the Army again: Out o' the cold a=
n' the
rain, sergeant, Out
o' the cold an' the rain.
=
&nb=
sp;
'Oo's there? A
man that's too good to be lost you, A man that is 'an=
dled
an' made-- A man =
that
will pay what 'e cost you In learnin' the o=
thers
their trade--parade! You're droppin' the pic=
k o'
the Army Be=
cause
you don't 'elp 'em remain, But drives 'em to cheat=
to
get out o' the street An' back to the A=
rmy
again!
March! The mud is caki=
n'
good about our trousies. Front!--eyes fron=
t, an'
watch the Colour-casin's drip. Front! The faces of the women in the 'ous=
es Ain't the kind o'
things to take aboard the ship.
Cheer! An' we'll never=
march
to victory. =
Cheer! An' we'll never live to 'ear the c=
annon
roar! =
The
Large Birds o' Prey =
They
will carry us away, =
An'
you'll never see your soldiers any more!
Wheel! Oh, keep your t=
ouch;
we're goin' round a corner. Time!--mark time,=
an'
let the men be'ind us close. Lord! the transport's f=
ull,
an' 'alf our lot not on 'er-- Cheer, O cheer! We're going off where no one knows=
.
March! The Devil's non=
e so
black as 'e is painted! Cheer! We'll 'ave some fun before we're p=
ut
away. 'Alt, an' '=
and
'er out--a woman's gone and fainted! Cheer! Get on--Gawd 'elp the married men
to-day!
Hoi! Come up, you 'ung=
ry
beggars, to yer sorrow. ('Ear them say th=
ey
want their tea, an' want it quick!) You won't have no mind =
for
slingers, not to-morrow-- No; you'll put the
'tween-decks stove out, bein' sick!
'Alt! The married kit =
'as
all to go before us! 'Course it's bloc=
ked
the bloomin' gangway up again! Cheer, O cheer the 'Orse
Guards watchin' tender o'er us, Keepin' us since =
eight
this mornin' in the rain!
Stuck in 'eavy marchin'-order, sopped and wringin'-- Sick, before our =
time
to watch 'er 'eave an' fall, 'Ere's your 'appy 'ome =
at
last, an' stop your singin'. 'Alt! Fall in along the troop-deck! Silence all!
Cheer! For we'll never=
live
to see no bloomin' victory! =
Cheer! An' we'll never live to 'ear the c=
annon
roar! (One cheer more!) =
The
jackal an' the kite =
'Ave
an 'ealthy appetite, =
An'
you'll never see your soldiers any more!&n=
bsp;
('Ip! Urroar!) =
The
eagle an' the crow =
They
are waitin' ever so, =
An'
you'll never see your soldiers any more!&n=
bsp;
('Ip! Urroar!) =
Yes,
the Large Birds o' Prey =
They
will carry us away, =
An'
you'll never see your soldiers any more!
As I was spittin' into the Ditch aboard o' the Crocodile, I seed a man on a man-o=
'-war
got up in the Reg'lars' style. 'E was scrapin' the pai=
nt
from off of 'er plates, an' I sez t=
o 'im,
"'Oo are you?" Sez 'e, "I'm a
Jolly--'Er Majesty's Jolly--soldier an' sailor too!" Now 'is work begins by =
Gawd
knows when, and 'is work is never through; 'E isn't one o' the reg=
'lar
Line, nor 'e isn't one of the crew. 'E's a kind of a giddy
harumfrodite--soldier an' sailor too!
An' after I met 'im all over the world, a-doin' all kinds of things,=
Like landin' 'isself wi=
th a
Gatlin' gun to talk to them 'eathen kings; 'E sleeps in an 'ammick
instead of a cot, an' 'e dril=
ls
with the deck on a slew, An' 'e sweats like a
Jolly--'Er Majesty's Jolly--soldier an' sailor too! For there isn't a job o=
n the
top o' the earth the beggar don't know, nor do-- You can leave 'im at ni=
ght on
a bald man's 'ead, to paddle 'is own canoe-- 'E's a sort of a bloomi=
n'
cosmopolouse--soldier an' sailor too.
We've fought 'em in trooper, we've fought 'em in dock, and drunk w=
ith
'em in betweens, =
When
they called us the seasick scull'ry-maids, an' we call=
ed 'em
the Ass Marines; =
But,
when we was down for a double fatigue, from Woolwich to Bernardmyo, We sent for the Jollies=
--'Er
Majesty's Jollies--soldier an' sailor too! They think for 'emselve=
s, an'
they steal for 'emselves, and they ne=
ver
ask what's to do, But
they're camped an' fed an' they're up an' fed before our bugle's blew. Ho! they ain't no limpi=
n'
procrastitutes--soldier an' sailor too.
You may say we are fond of an 'arness-cut, or 'ootin' in barrick-yar=
ds, Or startin' a Board Sch=
ool
mutiny along o' the Onion Guards; But once in a while we =
can
finish in style for the ends of the earth to view, The same as the Jollies=
--'Er
Majesty's Jollies--soldier an' sailor too! They come of our lot, t=
hey
was brothers to us; they was beggars we'd met an' knew;=
Yes, barrin' an inch in=
the
chest an' the arm, they was doubles o' me an' you; For they weren't no spe=
cial
chrysanthemums--soldier an' sailor too!
To take your chance in the thick of a rush, with firing all about, <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Is nothing so bad when =
you've
cover to 'and, an' leave an' likin' to shout; But to stand an' be sti=
ll to
the Birken'ead drill is a damn t=
ough
bullet to chew, A=
n'
they done it, the Jollies--'Er Majesty's Jollies-- soldier an'
sailor too! Their=
work
was done when it 'adn't begun; they was younger nor me an' you; Their choice it was pla=
in
between drownin' in 'eaps an' bein' m=
opped
by the screw, So =
they
stood an' was still to the Birken'ead drill, soldier an' sailor too!
=
We're most of us liars, we're 'arf=
of us
thieves, an' the res=
t are
as rank as can be, But
once in a while we can finish in style (which I 'o=
pe it
won't 'appen to me). But it makes you think =
better
o' you an' your friends, an' the wor=
k you
may 'ave to do, W=
hen
you think o' the sinkin' Victorier's Jollies--soldier an' sailor too! Now there isn't no room=
for
to say ye don't know-- they 'ave p=
roved
it plain and true-- That whether it's Widow=
, or
whether it's ship, Victorier's work is to do, An' they done it, the
Jollies--'Er Majesty's Jollies-- soldier an'
sailor too!
When the Waters were dried an' the Earth did appear, ("It's all
one," says the Sapper), The Lord He created the
Engineer, H=
er Majesty's
Royal Engineer, With the rank and=
pay
of a Sapper!
When the Flood come along for an extra monsoon, 'Twas Noah constructed =
the
first pontoon To
the plans of Her Majesty's, etc.
But after fatigue in the wet an' the sun, Old Noah got drunk, whi=
ch he
wouldn't ha' done If he'd trained w=
ith,
etc.
When the Tower o' Babel had mixed up men's bat, Some clever civilian was
managing that, An' none of, etc.=
When the Jews had a fight at the foot of a hill, Young Joshua ordered th=
e sun
to stand still, For he was a Capt=
ain of
Engineers, etc.
When the Children of Israel made bricks without straw, They were learnin' the
regular work of our Corps, The work of, etc.=
For ever since then, if a war they would wage, Behold us a-shinin' on
history's page-- First page for, e=
tc.
We lay down their sidings an' help 'em entrain, An' we sweep up their m=
ess
through the bloomin' campaign, In the style of, =
etc.
They send us in front with a fuse an' a mine To blow up the gates th=
at are
rushed by the Line, But bent by, etc.=
They send us behind with a pick an' a spade, To dig for the guns of a
bullock-brigade Which has asked f=
or,
etc.
We work under escort in trousers and shirt, An' the heathen they pl=
ug us
tail-up in the dirt, Annoying, etc.
We blast out the rock an' we shovel the mud, We make 'em good roads
an'--they roll down the khud, Reporting, etc.
We make 'em their bridges, their wells, an' their huts, An' the telegraph-wire =
the
enemy cuts, An'
it's blamed on, etc.
An' when we return, an' from war we would cease, They grudge us adornin'=
the
billets of peace, Which are kept fo=
r,
etc.
We build 'em nice barracks--they swear they are bad, That our Colonels are
Methodist, married or mad, Insultin', etc.
They haven't no manners nor gratitude too, For the more that we he=
lp
'em, the less will they do, But mock at, etc.=
Now the Line's but a man with a gun in his hand, An' Cavalry's only what
horses can stand, When helped by, e=
tc.
Artillery moves by the leave o' the ground, But we are the men that= do something all round, For we are, etc.<= o:p>
I have stated it plain, an' my argument's thus ("It's all
one," says the Sapper), There's only one Corps =
which
is perfect--that's us; An' they call us =
Her
Majesty's Engineers, Her Majesty's Roy=
al
Engineers, =
With
the rank and pay of a Sapper!
It got beyond all orders an' it got beyond all 'ope; It got to shammin'
wounded an' retirin' from the 'alt. 'Ole companies was look=
in'
for the nearest road to slope; It were just a bl=
oomin'
knock-out--an' our fault!
Now
there ain't no chorus 'ere to give, =
Nor
there ain't no band to play; =
An'
I wish I was dead 'fore I done what I did, =
Or
seen what I seed that day!
We was sick o' bein' punished, an' we let 'em know it, too; An' a company-com=
mander
up an' 'it us with a sword, An' some one shouted &q=
uot;'Ook
it!" an' it come to sove-ki-poo, An' we chucked our
rifles from us--O my Gawd!
There was thirty dead an' wounded on the ground we wouldn't keep-- <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> No, there wasn't =
more
than twenty when the front begun to go; But, Christ! along the =
line
o' flight they cut us up like sheep, An' that was all =
we
gained by doin' so.
I 'eard the knives be'ind me, but I dursn't face my man, Nor I don't know =
where
I went to, 'cause I didn't 'alt to see, Till I 'eard a beggar
squealin' out for quarter as 'e ran, An' I thought I k=
new
the voice an'--it was me!
We was 'idin' under bedsteads more than 'arf a march away; We was lyin' up l=
ike
rabbits all about the countryside; An' the major cursed 'is
Maker 'cause 'e lived to see that day, An' the colonel broke 'is swo=
rd
acrost, an' cried.
We was rotten 'fore we started--we was never disciplined; We made it out a =
favour
if an order was obeyed; Yes, every little drumm=
er 'ad
'is rights an' wrongs to mind, So we had to pay =
for teachin'--an'
we paid!
The papers 'id it 'andsome, but you know the Army knows; We was put to gro=
omin'
camels till the regiments withdrew, An' they gave us each a=
medal
for subduin' England's foes, An' I 'ope you li=
ke my
song--because it's true!
An'
there ain't no chorus 'ere to give, =
Nor
there ain't no band to play; =
But
I wish I was dead 'fore I done what I did, =
Or
seen what I seed that day!
A Song of Instruction
The men that fought at Minden, they was rookies in their time-- So was them that =
fought
at Waterloo! All =
the
'ole command, yuss, from Minden to Maiwand, They was once dam'
sweeps like you!
Then
do not be discouraged, 'Eaven is your 'elper, =
We'll
learn you not to forget; =
An'
you mustn't swear an' curse, or you'll only catch it worse, =
For
we'll make you soldiers yet!
The men that fought at Minden, they 'ad stocks beneath their chins, =
Six inch 'igh an'=
more;
But fatigue it was
their pride, and they would not be denied To clean the cook=
-'ouse
floor.
The men that fought at Minden, they had anarchistic bombs Served to 'em by =
name
of 'and-grenades; But
they got it in the eye (same as you will by-an'-by) When they clubbed=
their
field-parades.
The men that fought at Minden, they 'ad buttons up an' down, Two-an'-twenty do=
zen of
'em told; But they
didn't grouse an' shirk at an hour's extry work, They kept 'em bri=
ght as
gold.
The men that fought at Minden, they was armed with musketoons, Also, they was dr=
illed
by 'alberdiers; I=
don't
know what they were, but the sergeants took good care They washed be'ind
their ears.
The men that fought at Minden, they 'ad ever cash in 'and Which they did no=
t bank
nor save, But spe=
nt it
gay an' free on their betters--such as me-- For the good advi=
ce I
gave.
The men that fought at Minden, they was civil--yuss, they was-- Never didn't talk=
o'
rights an' wrongs, But
they got it with the toe (same as you will get it--so!)-- For interrupting =
songs.
The men that fought at Minden, they was several other things Which I don't rem=
ember
clear; But that's=
the
reason why, now the six-year men are dry, The rooks will st=
and
the beer!
Then
do not be discouraged, 'Eaven is your 'elper, =
We'll
learn you not to forget; =
An'
you mustn't swear an' curse, or you'll only catch it worse, =
For
we'll make you soldiers yet!
Soldiers yet, if you've got it in you-- =
All
for the sake of the Core; =
Soldiers
yet, if we 'ave to skin you-- =
Run
an' get the beer, Johnny Raw--Johnny Raw! =
Ho!
run an' get the beer, Johnny Raw!
We've got the cholerer in camp--it's worse than forty fights; We're dyin' in the
wilderness the same as Isrulites; It's before us, an' be'=
ind
us, an' we cannot get away, An' the doctor's =
just
reported we've ten more to-day!
Oh,
strike your camp an' go, the Bugle's callin', =
The
Rains are fallin'-- =
The
dead are bushed an' stoned to keep 'em safe below; =
The
Band's a-doin' all she knows to cheer us; =
The
Chaplain's gone and prayed to Gawd to 'ear us-- =
To
'ear us-- =
O
Lord, for it's a-killin' of us so!
Since August, when it started, it's been stickin' to our tail, Though they've 'ad us o=
ut by
marches an' they've 'ad us back by rail; But it runs as fast as
troop-trains, and we cannot get away; An' the sick-list to the
Colonel makes ten more to-day.
There ain't no fun in women nor there ain't no bite to drink; It's much too wet for
shootin', we can only march and think; An' at evenin', down the
nullahs, we can 'ear the jackals say, "Get up, you rotten
beggars, you've ten more to-day!"
'Twould make a monkey cough to see our way o' doin' things-- Lieutenants takin' comp=
anies
an' captains takin' wings, An' Lances actin'
Sergeants--eight file to obey-- For we've lots o' quick=
promotion
on ten deaths a day!
Our Colonel's white an' twitterly--'e gets no sleep nor food, But mucks about in 'ors=
pital
where nothing does no good. 'E sends us 'eaps o'
comforts, all bought from 'is pay-- But there aren't much c=
omfort
'andy on ten deaths a day.
Our Chaplain's got a banjo, an' a skinny mule 'e rides, An' the stuff 'e says a=
n'
sings us, Lord, it makes us split our sides! With 'is black coat-tai=
ls
a-bobbin' to Ta-ra-ra Boom-der-ay! 'E's the proper kind o'=
padre
for ten deaths a day.
An' Father Victor 'elps 'im with our Roman Catholicks-- He knows an 'eap of Iri=
sh
songs an' rummy conjurin' tricks; An' the two they works
together when it comes to play or pray; So we keep the ball a-r=
ollin'
on ten deaths a day.
We've got the cholerer in camp--we've got it 'ot an' sweet; It ain't no Christmas d=
inner,
but it's 'elped an' we must eat. We've gone beyond the
funkin', 'cause we've found it doesn't pay, An' we're rockin' round=
the
Districk on ten deaths a day!
Then
strike your camp an' go, the Rains are fallin', =
The
Bugle's callin'! =
The
dead are bushed an' stoned to keep 'em safe below! =
An'
them that do not like it they can lump it, =
An'
them that cannot stand it they can jump it; =
We've
got to die somewhere--some way--some'ow-- =
We
might as well begin to do it now! =
Then,
Number One, let down the tent-pole slow, =
Knock
out the pegs an' 'old the corners--so! =
Fold
in the flies, furl up the ropes, an' stow! =
Oh,
strike--oh, strike your camp an' go! =
(Gawd
'elp us!)
I've taken my fun where I've found it; I've rogued an' I=
've
ranged in my time; I've
'ad my pickin' o' sweet'earts, An' four o' the l=
ot was
prime. One was an
'arf-caste widow, One was a woman at
Prome, One was th=
e wife
of a jemadar-sais, An' one is a girl=
at
'ome.
Now
I aren't no 'and with the ladies, =
For,
takin' 'em all along, =
You
never can say till you've tried 'em, =
An'
then you are like to be wrong. =
There's
times when you'll think that you mightn't, =
There's
times when you'll know that you might; =
But
the things you will learn from the Yellow an' Brown, =
They'll
'elp you a lot with the White!
I was a young un at 'Oogli, Shy as a girl to =
begin;
Aggie de Castrer =
she
made me, An'
Aggie was clever as sin; Older than me, but my f=
irst
un-- More l=
ike a
mother she were-- Showed me the way to
promotion an' pay, An' I learned abo=
ut
women from 'er!
Then I was ordered to Burma, Actin' in charge =
o'
Bazar, An' I got =
me a
tiddy live 'eathen Through buyin' su=
pplies
off 'er pa. Funny=
an'
yellow an' faithful-- Doll in a teacup =
she
were, But we live=
d on
the square, like a true-married pair, An' I learned abo=
ut
women from 'er!
Then we was shifted to Neemuch (Or I might ha' b=
een
keepin' 'er now), An' I
took with a shiny she-devil, The wife of a nig=
ger at
Mhow; 'Taught me =
the
gipsy-folks' bolee; Kind o' volcano s=
he
were, For she kni=
fed me
one night 'cause I wished she was white, And I learned abo=
ut
women from 'er!
Then I come 'ome in the trooper, 'Long of a kid o'
sixteen-- Girl fr=
om a
convent at Meerut, The straightest I=
ever
'ave seen. Love at
first sight was 'er trouble, She didn't know w=
hat it
were; An' I would=
n't do
such, 'cause I liked 'er too much, But--I learned ab=
out
women from 'er!
I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pa=
y for
my fun, For the m=
ore
you 'ave known o' the others The less will you
settle to one; An=
' the
end of it's sittin' and thinkin', An' dreamin' Hell=
-fires
to see; So be war=
ned by
my lot (which I know you will not), An' learn about w=
omen
from me!
What
did the Colonel's Lady think? =
Nobody
never knew. =
Somebody
asked the Sergeant's wife, =
An'
she told 'em true! =
When
you get to a man in the case, =
They're like as a row of pins--
"'As anybod=
y seen
Bill 'Awkins?" "Now
'ow in the devil would I know?" "'E's taken my gir=
l out
walkin', An' I=
've
got to tell 'im so-- =
Gawd--bless--'im!
I've
got to tell 'im so."
&=
nbsp;
"D'yer know what 'e's like, Bill 'Awkins?" "Now
what in the devil would I care?" "'E's the livin',
breathin' image of an organ-grinder's monkey, With
a pound of grease in 'is 'air-- =
Gawd--bless--'im!
An' a
pound o' grease in 'is 'air."
&=
nbsp;
"An' s'pose you met Bill 'Awkins, Now
what in the devil 'ud ye do?" "I'd open 'is chee=
k to
'is chin-strap buckle, An' bung
up 'is both eyes, too-- =
Gawd--bless--'im!
An'
bung up 'is both eyes, too!"
&=
nbsp;
"Look 'ere, where 'e comes, Bill 'Awkins! Now
what in the devil will you say?" "It isn't fit an' =
proper
to be fightin' on a Sunday, So I'll
pass 'im the time o' day-- =
Gawd--bless--'im!
I'll
pass 'im the time o' day!"
There was Rundle, Station Master, An' Beazeley of t=
he
Rail, An' 'Ackman,
Commissariat, An'
Donkin' o' the Jail; An' Blake, Conductor-Sa=
rgent,
Our Master =
twice
was 'e, With 'im =
that
kept the Europe-shop, Old Framjee Edulj=
ee.
Outside--"Sergeant!
Sir! Salute! Salaam!" =
Inside--"Brother",
an' it doesn't do no 'arm. =
We
met upon the Level an' we parted on the Square, =
An'
I was Junior Deacon in my Mother-Lodge out there!
We'd Bola Nath, Accountant, An' Saul the Aden=
Jew, An' Din Mohammed, draug=
htsman
Of the Surv=
ey
Office too; There=
was
Babu Chuckerbutty, An' Amir Singh the
Sikh, An' Castro =
from
the fittin'-sheds, The Roman Catholi=
ck!
We 'adn't good regalia, An' our Lodge was=
old
an' bare, But we =
knew
the Ancient Landmarks, An' we kep' 'em t=
o a
hair; An' lookin'=
on it
backwards It
often strikes me thus, There ain't such things=
as
infidels, E=
xcep',
per'aps, it's us.
For monthly, after Labour, We'd all sit down=
and
smoke (We dursn't=
give
no banquits, Lest
a Brother's caste were broke), An' man on man got talk=
in' Religion an' the =
rest, An' every man comparin'=
Of the God 'e kne=
w the
best.
So man on man got talkin', An' not a Brother
stirred Till morn=
in'
waked the parrots An' that dam'
brain-fever-bird; We'd
say 'twas 'ighly curious, An' we'd all ride=
'ome
to bed, With Mo'a=
mmed,
God, an' Shiva Changin' pickets =
in our
'ead.
Full oft on Guv'ment service This rovin' foot =
'ath
pressed, An' bore
fraternal greetin's To the Lodges eas=
t an'
west, Accordin' as
commanded F=
rom
Kohat to Singapore, But
I wish that I might see them In my Mother-Lodg=
e once
more!
I wish that I might see them, My Brethren black=
an'
brown, With the
trichies smellin' pleasant An' the hog-darn
passin' down; An'=
the
old khansamah snorin' On the bottle-kha=
na
floor, Like a Mas=
ter in
good standing With my Mother-Lo=
dge
once more!
Outside--"Sergeant!
Sir! Salute! Salaam!" =
Inside--"Brother",
an' it doesn't do no 'arm. =
We
met upon the Level an' we parted on the Square, =
An'
I was Junior Deacon in my Mother-Lodge out there!
There was =
no one
like 'im, 'Orse or Foot, Nor
any o' the Guns I knew; An' because it was so, =
why,
o' course 'e went an' died, Which
is just what the best men do.
So
it's knock out your pipes an' follow me! =
An'
it's finish up your swipes an' follow me! =
Oh,
'ark to the big drum callin', =
Follow
me--follow me 'ome!
'Is mare s=
he
neighs the 'ole day long, She
paws the 'ole night through, An' she won't take 'er =
feed
'cause o' waitin' for 'is step, Which
is just what a beast would do.
'Is girl s=
he
goes with a bombardier Before
'er month is through; An' the banns are up in
church, for she's got the beggar hooked, Which
is just what a girl would do.
We fought =
'bout
a dog--last week it were-- No
more than a round or two; But I strook 'im cruel =
'ard,
an' I wish I 'adn't now, Which
is just what a man can't do.
'E was all=
that
I 'ad in the way of a friend, An'
I've 'ad to find one new; But I'd give my pay an'
stripe for to get the beggar back, Which
it's just too late to do.
So
it's knock out your pipes an' follow me! =
An'
it's finish off your swipes an' follow me! =
Oh,
'ark to the fifes a-crawlin'! =
Follow
me--follow me 'ome!
=
Take 'im away! 'E's go=
ne
where the best men go. =
Take
'im away! An' the gun-wheels =
turnin'
slow. =
Take
'im away! There's more from t=
he
place 'e come. =
Take
'im away, with the limber an' the drum.
For
it's "Three rounds blank" an' follow me, =
An'
it's "Thirteen rank" an' follow me; =
Oh,
passin' the love o' women, =
Follow
me--follow me 'ome!
'E was warned agin' 'er-- That's what made =
'im
look; She was war=
ned
agin' 'im-- That
is why she took. 'Wouldn't 'ear no reaso=
n, 'Went an' done it=
blind;
We know all about=
'em, They've got all to
find!
Cheer for the Sergeant's weddin'-- =
Give
'em one cheer more! =
Grey
gun-'orses in the lando, =
An'
a rogue is married to, etc.
What's the use o' tellin' 'Arf the lot she's
been? 'E's a bloo=
min'
robber, An'=
'e
keeps canteen. 'O=
w did
'e get 'is buggy? Gawd, you needn't=
ask! 'Made 'is forty gallon =
Out of every cask=
!
Watch 'im, with 'is 'air cut, Count us filin' b=
y-- Won't the Colonel prais=
e 'is Pop--u--lar--i--t=
y! We 'ave scores to settl=
e-- Scores for more t=
han
beer; She's the g=
irl to
pay 'em-- T=
hat is
why we're 'ere!
See the chaplain thinkin'? See the women smi=
le? Twig the married winkin=
' As they take the =
aisle?
Keep your side-ar=
ms
quiet, Dres=
sin'
by the Band. Ho!<=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> You 'oly beggars, Cough be'ind your=
'and!
Now it's done an' over, 'Ear the organ sq=
ueak, "'Voice that breat=
hed
o'er Eden"-- Ain't she got the
cheek! White an' =
laylock
ribbons, Th=
ink
yourself so fine! I'd
pray Gawd to take yer 'Fore I made yer =
mine!
Escort to the kerridge, Wish 'im luck, the
brute! Chuck the
slippers after-- (Pity 'tain't a b=
oot!) Bowin' like a lady,
Cheer for the Sergeant's weddin'-- =
Give
'em one cheer more! =
Grey
gun-'orses in the lando, =
An'
a rogue is married to, etc.
Through the Plagues of Egyp' we was chasin' Arabi, Gettin' down an'
shovin' in the sun; An'
you might 'ave called us dirty, an' you might ha' called us dry, An' you might 'ave
'eard us talkin' at the gun. But the Captain 'ad 'is
jacket, an' the jacket it was new-- ('Orse Gunners, l=
isten
to my song!) An' =
the
wettin' of the jacket is the proper thing to do, Nor we didn't kee=
p 'im
waitin' very long.
One day they gave us orders for to shell a sand redoubt, Loadin' down the
axle-arms with case; But the Captain knew 'is
dooty, an' he took the crackers out An' he put some p=
roper
liquor in its place. An' the Captain saw the
shrapnel, which is six-an'-thirty clear. ('Orse Gunners, l=
isten
to my song!) &quo=
t;Will
you draw the weight," sez 'e, "or will you draw the beer?" <=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> An' we didn't kee=
p 'im
waitin' very long. For the Cap=
tain,
etc.
Then we trotted gentle, not to break the bloomin' glass, Though the Arabit=
es 'ad
all their ranges marked; But we dursn't 'ardly g=
allop,
for the most was bottled Bass, An' we'd dreamed =
of it
since we was disembarked: So we fired economic wi=
th the
shells we 'ad in 'and, ('Orse Gunners, l=
isten
to my song!) But =
the
beggars under cover 'ad the impidence to stand, An' we couldn't k=
eep 'em
waitin' very long. And the Cap=
tain,
etc.
So we finished 'arf the liquor (an' the Captain took champagne),
We was goin' most extended--we was drivin' very fine, An' the Arabites =
were
loosin' 'igh an' wide, Till the Captain took t=
he
glassy with a rattlin' right incline, An' we dropped up=
on
their 'eads the other side. Then we give 'em quarte=
r--such
as 'adn't up and cut, ('Orse Gunners, l=
isten
to my song!) An' =
the
Captain stood a limberful of fizzy--somethin' Brutt, But we didn't lea=
ve it
fizzing very long. For the Cap=
tain,
etc.
We might ha' been court-martialled, but it all come out all right When they signall=
ed us
to join the main command. There was every round
expended, there was every gunner tight, An' the Captain w=
aved a
corkscrew in 'is 'and. But the Cap=
tain
'ad 'is jacket, etc.
The 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone; 'E don't obey no orders
unless they is 'is own; 'E keeps 'is side-arms
awful: 'e leaves 'em all abou=
t, An' then comes up the
regiment an' pokes the 'eathen out.
All
along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess, =
All
along o' doin' things rather-more-or-less, =
All
along of abby-nay, kul, an' hazar-ho, =
Mind
you keep your rifle an' yourself jus' so! The young recruit is
'aughty--'e draf's from Gawd knows where; They bid 'im show 'is
stockin's an' lay 'is mattress square; 'E calls it bloomin'
nonsense--'e doesn't know no more-- An' then up comes 'is C=
ompany
an' kicks 'im round the floor!
The young recruit is 'ammered--'e takes it very 'ard; 'E 'angs 'is 'ead an'
mutters--'e sulks about the yard; 'E talks o' "cruel
tyrants" 'e'll swing for by-an'-by, An' the others 'ears an'
mocks 'im, an' the boy goes orf to cry.
The young recruit is silly--'e thinks o' suicide; 'E's lost 'is gutter-de=
vil;
'e 'asn't got 'is pride; But day by day they kic=
ks
'im, which 'elps 'im on a bit, Till 'e finds 'isself o=
ne
mornin' with a full an' proper kit.
Gettin' clear o' dirtiness, gettin' done with mess, =
Gettin'
shut o' doin' things rather-more-or-less; =
Not
so fond of abby-nay, kul, nor hazar-ho, =
Learns
to keep 'is rifle an' 'isself jus' so!
The young recruit is 'appy--'e throws a chest to suit; You see 'im grow mustac=
hes;
you 'ear 'im slap 'is boot; 'E learns to drop the
"bloodies" from every word 'e slings, An' 'e shows an 'ealthy
brisket when 'e strips for bars an' rings.
The cruel-tyrant-sergeants they watch 'im 'arf a year; They watch 'im with 'is
comrades, they watch 'im with 'is beer; They watch 'im with the=
women
at the regimental dance, And the
cruel-tyrant-sergeants send 'is name along for "Lance".
An' now 'e's 'arf o' nothin', an' all a private yet, 'Is room they up an' ra=
gs 'im
to see what they will get; They rags 'im low an'
cunnin', each dirty trick they can, But 'e learns to sweat =
'is
temper an' 'e learns to sweat 'is man.
An', last, a Colour-Sergeant, as such to be obeyed, 'E schools 'is men at
cricket, 'e tells 'em on parade; They sees 'em quick an'
'andy, uncommon set an' smart, An' so 'e talks to orfi=
cers
which 'ave the Core at 'eart.
'E learns to do 'is watchin' without it showin' plain; 'E learns to save a dum=
my,
an' shove 'im straight again; 'E learns to check a ra=
nker
that's buyin' leave to shirk; An' 'e learns to make men like 'im =
so
they'll learn to like their work.
An' when it comes to marchin' he'll see their socks are right, An' when it comes to ac=
tion
'e shows 'em 'ow to sight; 'E knows their ways of
thinkin' and just what's in their mind; 'E knows when they are =
takin'
on an' when they've fell be'ind.
'E knows each talkin' corpril that leads a squad astray; 'E feels 'is innards 'e=
avin',
'is bowels givin' way; 'E sees the blue-white =
faces
all tryin' 'ard to grin, An' 'e stands an' waits=
an'
suffers till it's time to cap 'em in.
An' now the hugly bullets come peckin' through the dust, An' no one wants to fac=
e 'em,
but every beggar must; So, like a man in irons=
which
isn't glad to go, They
moves 'em off by companies uncommon stiff an' slow.
Of all 'is five years' schoolin' they don't remember much Excep' the not retreati=
n',
the step an' keepin' touch. It looks like teachin' =
wasted
when they duck an' spread an' 'op, But if 'e 'adn't learne=
d 'em
they'd be all about the shop!
An' now it's "'Oo goes backward?" an' now it's "'Oo c=
omes
on?" And now=
it's
"Get the doolies," an' now the captain's gone; An' now it's bloody mur=
der,
but all the while they 'ear 'Is voice, the same as
barrick drill, a-shepherdin' the rear.
'E's just as sick as they are, 'is 'eart is like to split, But 'e works 'em, works=
'em,
works 'em till he feels 'em take the bit; The rest is 'oldin' ste=
ady
till the watchful bugles play, An' 'e lifts 'em, lifts=
'em,
lifts 'em through the charge that wins the day!
The
'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone; =
'E
don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own; =
The
'eathen in 'is blindness must end where 'e began, =
But
the backbone of the Army is the non-commissioned man!
Keep
away from dirtiness--keep away from mess. =
Don't
get into doin' things rather-more-or-less! =
Let's
ha' done with abby-nay, kul, an' hazar-ho; =
Mind
you keep your rifle an' yourself jus' so!
The Shut-Eye Sentry Sez the Junior Orderly
Sergeant To=
the
Senior Orderly Man: "Our Orderly Orf'c=
er's
hokee-mut, =
You
'elp 'im all you can. For the wine was old an=
d the
night is cold, An' the best we m=
ay go
wrong, So, 'fore =
'e
gits to the sentry-box, You pass the word
along."
So
it was "Rounds! What
Rounds?" at two of a frosty night, =
'E's
'oldin' on by the sergeant's sash, but, sentry, shut your eye. =
An'
it was "Pass! All's
well!" Oh, ain't 'e drip=
pin'
tight! =
'E'll
need an affidavit pretty badly by-an'-by.
The moon was white on the barricks, The road was whit=
e an'
wide, An' the Ord=
erly
Orf'cer took it all, An' the ten-foot =
ditch
beside. An' the
corporal pulled an' the sergeant pushed, An' the three they
danced along, But=
I'd
shut my eyes in the sentry-box, So I didn't see n=
othin'
wrong.
Though it was "Rounds!
What Rounds?" O
corporal, 'old 'im up! =
'E's
usin' 'is cap as it shouldn't be used, but, sentry, shut your eye. =
An'
it was "Pass! All's
well!" Ho, shun the foam=
in'
cup! =
'E'll
need, etc.
'Twas after four in the mornin'; We 'ad to stop th=
e fun,
An' we sent 'im '=
ome on
a bullock-cart, With 'is belt an'=
stock
undone; But we sl=
uiced
'im down an' we washed 'im out, An' a first-class=
job
we made, When we =
saved
'im, smart as a bombardier, For six-o'clock p=
arade.
It
'ad been "Rounds! What
Rounds?" Oh, shove 'im
straight again! =
span> 'E's usin' =
'is
sword for a bicycle, but, sentry, shut your eye. =
An'
it was "Pass! All's
well!" 'E's called me
"Darlin' Jane"! =
'E'll
need, etc.
The drill was long an' 'eavy, The sky was 'ot a=
n'
blue, An' 'is eye=
was
wild an' 'is 'air was wet, But 'is sergeant =
pulled
'im through. Our =
men
was good old trusties-- They'd done it on=
their
'ead; But you oug=
ht to
'ave 'eard 'em markin' time To 'ide the thing=
s 'e
said!
For
it was "Right flank--wheel!" for "'Alt, an' stand at ease!&q=
uot;
=
An'
"Left extend!" for "Centre close!" O marker, shut your eye! =
An'
it was, "'Ere, sir, 'ere! before the Colonel sees!" =
So
he needed affidavits pretty badly by-an'-by.
There was two-an'-thirty sergeants, There was corp'ra=
ls
forty-one, There =
was
just nine 'undred rank an' file To swear to a tou=
ch o'
sun. There was me=
'e'd
kissed in the sentry-box, As I 'ave not tol=
d in
my song, But I to=
ok my
oath, which were Bible truth, I 'adn't seen not=
hin'
wrong.
There's them that's 'ot an' 'aughty, There's them that=
's
cold an' 'ard, But
there comes a night when the best gets tight, And then turns ou=
t the
Guard. I've seen =
them
'ide their liquor In every kind o' =
way, But most depends on makin' friends =
With Privit Thoma=
s A.!
When
it is "Rounds! What
Rounds?" 'E's breathin'
through 'is nose. =
'E's
reelin', rollin', roarin' tight, but, sentry, shut your eye. =
An'
it is "Pass! All's
well!" An' that's the wa=
y it
goes: =
We'll
'elp 'im for 'is mother, an' 'e'll 'elp us by-an'-by!
You call yourself a man, For all you used =
to
swear, An' leave =
me, as
you can, My
certain shame to bear? I 'ear! You do not care-- You done the worst you =
know. I 'ate you, grinn=
in'
there.... Ah, Gaw=
d, I
love you so!
Nice
while it lasted, an' now it is over-- =
Tear
out your 'eart an' good-bye to your lover! =
What's
the use o' grievin', when the mother that bore you =
(Mary,
pity women!) knew it all before you?
It aren't no false alarm, The finish to you=
r fun;
You--you 'ave bru=
ng the
'arm, An' I=
'm the
ruined one; An'
now you'll off an' run With some new fool in t=
ow. Your 'eart? You 'aven't none.... Ah, Gawd, I love you so=
!
When
a man is tired there is naught will bind 'im; =
All
'e solemn promised 'e will shove be'ind 'im. =
What's
the good o' prayin' for The Wrath to strike 'im =
(Mary,
pity women!), when the rest are like 'im?
What 'ope for me or--it? What's left for u=
s to
do? I've walked w=
ith
men a bit, =
But
this--but this is you. So 'elp me Christ, it's=
true!
Where can I=
'ide
or go? You coward
through and through!... Ah, Gawd, I love =
you
so!
All
the more you give 'em the less are they for givin'-- =
Love
lies dead, an' you cannot kiss 'im livin'. =
Down
the road 'e led you there is no returnin' =
(Mary,
pity women!), but you're late in learnin'!
You'd like to treat me fair? You can't, because
we're pore? We'd
starve? What do I care! We might, but thi=
s is
shore! I wa=
nt the
name--no more-- T=
he
name, an' lines to show, An' not to be an
'ore.... Ah, Gawd=
, I
love you so!
What's the good o' pleadin', when the mother that bore you =
(Mary,
pity women!) knew it all before you? =
Sleep
on 'is promises an' wake to your sorrow =
(Mary,
pity women!), for we sail to-morrow!
The Injian Ocean sets an' smiles So sof', so brigh=
t, so
bloomin' blue; Th=
ere
aren't a wave for miles an' miles Excep' the jiggle=
from
the screw. The sh=
ip is
swep', the day is done, The bugle's gone =
for
smoke and play; A=
n'
black agin' the settin' sun The Lascar sings,
"Hum deckty hai!"
For
to admire an' for to see, =
For
to be'old this world so wide-- =
It
never done no good to me, =
But
I can't drop it if I tried!
I see the sergeants pitchin' quoits, I 'ear the women =
laugh
an' talk, I spy u=
pon
the quarter-deck The orficers an' =
lydies
walk. I thinks ab=
out
the things that was, An' leans an' loo=
ks
acrost the sea, T=
ill
spite of all the crowded ship There's no one le=
f' alive
but me.
The things that was which I 'ave seen, In barrick, camp,=
an'
action too, I tel=
ls
them over by myself, An' sometimes won=
ders
if they're true; =
For
they was odd--most awful odd-- But all the same =
now
they are o'er, Th=
ere must
be 'eaps o' plenty such, An' if I wait I'l=
l see
some more.
Oh, I 'ave come upon the books, An' frequent brok=
e a
barrick rule, An'=
stood
beside an' watched myself Be'avin' like a
bloomin' fool. I =
paid
my price for findin' out, Nor never grutche=
d the
price I paid, But=
sat
in Clink without my boots, Admirin' 'ow the =
world
was made.
Be'old a crowd upon the beam, An' 'umped above =
the
sea appears Old A=
den,
like a barrick-stove That no one's lit=
for
years an' years! I
passed by that when I began, An' I go 'ome the=
road
I came, A time-ex=
pired
soldier-man With
six years' service to 'is name.
My girl she said, "Oh, stay with me!" My mother 'eld me=
to
'er breast. They'=
ve
never written none, an' so They must 'ave go=
ne
with all the rest-- With all the rest which=
I
'ave seen A=
n'
found an' known an' met along. I cannot say the things=
I
feel, And s=
o I
sing my evenin' song:
For
to admire an' for to see, =
For
to be'old this world so wide-- =
It
never done no good to me, =
But
I can't drop it if I tried!